Working With People With Different Communication Styles

Do you know a colleague whom you have a hard time communicating with? Or someone you can't get on the same page with? 

Most of the time, we form opinions about others and label them as "hard to work with" or difficult, while we can see the actual situation: miscommunication and differing views. 

The real question we should ask is, "why?" Why is there a problem connecting with each other, and why do we do things in different ways? 

These are a few suggestions to help you find the answers and improve your relationships with your coworkers.

1. Try to understand different perspectives

Lack of perspective of your own and the other person's styles is the leading cause of communication issues. 

Take a step back and allow the other person your complete attention before making adjustments to connect better. 

Pay attention to what they say, how they say it, and what they concentrate on. Consider the following questions:

• What types of words are they using?

• What kind of information are they focusing on?

• Are they talking about the work or the effect on people?

• What are their concerns/problems?

• How much detail are they providing/asking for?

2. Review your own viewpoint

After fully understanding where the person is starting from, ask yourself the same questions. If this is a bit tough or you are unsure how to respond, ask a person who knows you best to assist you with this part. 

Another person's perspective of your communication style may point out things you were unaware of. 

Ask yourself these questions:

• What type of info do I need?

• Am I focusing on the work/task or the effect on people?

• What are my concerns/problems?

• How much detail do I need?

Knowing your communication preferences and the other person's perspective gives you an understanding of where there could be issues in conversation. Then, you may effectively adjust your messaging to strike a balance.

3. Make sure the communication is balanced

At times, it can be difficult to understand someone else's point of view or to communicate with them effectively. When this occurs, balance your communications by covering all points of view. 

Since it provides a better picture of the message, this is a best practice for all forms of communication. Ask yourself these questions:

• What should we achieve? What does success look like?

• What can we do? Let's discuss the options.

• How can we achieve the results? Who will do what and when?

• What are the possible impacts? What are the best solutions? What problems might we encounter?

We all add our own special perspectives to the discussion, which occasionally may cause confusion or misalignment. 

Start by paying attention to the other person's perspective before attempting to explain your own. Use the balanced communications framework if nothing else works.

Source: Fairygodboss